Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
