Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
