I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize