I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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