Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
