I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
