can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
