do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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