Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
