I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
