seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
