It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Girls should come with a carfax report
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
