I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
