Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
