Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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