i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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