I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
