He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How external is "for external use only"?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
