Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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