That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
