It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
