so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
