Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
