so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
