so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Come share oat with me in your robe
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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