You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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