you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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