I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
