So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
