Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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