Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
