I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
