I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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