Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
