drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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