how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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