none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Randomize
