but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
