I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
