it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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