is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
