yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
