I hope mine doesn't look like that
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
