you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
