3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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