No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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