Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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