whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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