How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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