From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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