I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
