I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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