so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
